But I'm an Atheist, I can't be spiritual!?!

What are you talking about? OF COURSE you can! I am agnostic (mostly atheist but I'm hedging my bets...) but that doesn't mean I don't have an appreciation for and love of the sacred.

Warning: This next bit may offend some... Know that I think you can have whatever religious or spiritual beliefs that you want and I don't think mine should get in the way of that.

The concept of a rule book for life and an old man in the sky pointing fingers and planning my life has NEVER sat well with me. In catechism as a child I never identified with God or Jesus, maybe a little with Mary, but hey, she was a girl! I never thought people could walk on water or magically cure the sick, but I went along with it for the hour that I had to before I could go home and play "school" or "business-lady" with my classroom full of stuffed animals. 

I have always had a curiosity about religion and spirituality. For as long as I can remember I was talking about religion with friends, going to different churches and experiencing all sorts of spiritualities. In college I was part of an amazing performance group called Charisma! In this group we spent a year focused on our own spiritual life and exploring the religions of fellow cast members, culminating in a performance of original art and monologues. I took classes on religious reflection, theology of marriage, and mysticism. I've sung in all manner of churches and services. I've been to Christian mega-churches, Catholic, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Methodist, Unitarian, and Jewish Services. I've meditated, done yoga, and walked the labyrinth. My relatives are Catholic, Agnostic, Atheist, Mormon and Wiccan. Suffice it to say I have explored some traditions in my time...

What I have learned from being exposed to all of these varied forms of religion, spirituality, ways of life, what ever you want to call it, is that ultimately at the end of the day we are all looking for the same thing. We want to be happy, safe and loved. We want our families, friends and lovers to be happy, safe and loved. And we want to spend our lives in ways that fulfill us and don't make us burn out.

So this is how I see it. It may be controversial as an atheist/agnostic/humanist/openly secular person to say that I am spiritual, and maybe that isn't even the right word... But I believe that each one of us can deeply affect people (directly or indirectly). I think of the sacred as a personal candle that burns within each of us. Sometimes my candle is a four-alarm fire, these are the times when I am so filled with love, inspiration, excitement, and ideas that I almost can't handle it. Sometimes my candle is a barely flickering ember, doing its best not to get snuffed out by the sadness and suffering in my world. But ultimately the candle NEVER goes out which means that someone can come along (maybe just a better happier version of myself) who can fan the flame a little, breathe life back into the little candle that could... Fanning the flame can be as simple as reading a silly article on Facebook, having an AMAZING cup of coffee, kissing my boyfriend, or as complicated as recognizing it is time to make a big transition like having surgery, going back to school or finding a new job.

Spirituality is personal, it is powerful, and it doesn't need to be a formal practice or come with thousands of years of history. It CAN and if it does for you, then FANTASTIC! But for me just being present, even for a moment, spending time with the people I love and who love me... THAT is spirituality!

Some resources:

Openly Secular

American Humanist Association

Unitarian Universalist Association

Books on Secular Spirituality

Change is afoot!

I have started on a new adventure. I am training to be a life coach! I have always wanted to help people achieve their goals for business and personal life expansion and I am super stoked to begin this journey. I have had lots of idea's for posts lately but have had a hard time deciding on which platform or site so I have kept my thoughts buried in my head but they are dying to get out now!

So I invite you to join me as Curvalicious Diva transitions from just my crazy wonderful life to helping you create yours with Curvalicious Diva - Life Expansion Coaching. Because you deserve to live a big, beautiful, Curvalicious life!

Love, The Curvalicious Diva

I have a confession to make...

In December 2012 I had a gastric bypass. This may come as a shock to my fans but I hope this post will shed some light on my decision and not alienate any of my readers.

First I want to say that I am still a HUGE believer in loving yourself at any size, the fact that I had weight loss surgery DOES NOT change that. I also still LOVE my curves and if on this journey I lose them I will be very sad indeed. 

So this is why I made this decision. After many years of struggling to lose weight and succeeding only to gain it all back I was frankly just tired of the yo yo. But more importantly, both of my parents have Type 2 Diabetes along with myriad other health problems, I also have PCOS and a genetic blood disorder which extra weight can exacerbate. 

I hope my fans understand that my desire to dress and feel curvy and sexy at any weight, is and will always be true! I may be smaller now, but my curves are still in tact and my fashion sense remains. I am still a huge advocate of size acceptance and will continue to support plus size companies and initiatives. 

Now after all this confessing I'm sure you'll want to see before and after pictures!! It's been 16 weeks and I have lost 70lbs already! Also what this means for you is that I have a whole lot more clothes in sizes 18-22 that are up for grabs and need new homes!! More posts to come in the next week or so with great pieces to add to your wardrobe!

Thank you for standing by me through thick and thin (literally!) 

Curvaliciously yours, 

CD

Would you like me to update you on my progress? Are you considering the procedure and want to hear first hand what it's like? Ask me any questions in the comments section and I'll answer!

And now without further ado....

Help this little opera company make $10k!

I don't usually post on this blog to support my other ventures but this is very important to me and to the arts so Ill make and exception. ;)

Many of you know that I am an opera singer as well as a Curvalicious Diva! A little company that I run in Boston is gearing up to present Carmen in May and we need to raise $10k. It would be amazing if you could help spread the word and donate, even $10 will make a huge impact on our success. Thank you for indulging me!

THANK YOU!!

Just dropping a quick line to say thank you to everyone who reads my blog! Today I passed 20,000 views and I can't contain my joy! Thank you all!!!

Happy Easter!

Good afternoon ladies (and a few gents I'd imagine)!

I hope you are enjoying this wonderful sunday. Spring has FINALLY sprung here in Boston and not a moment too soon. Seriously, S.A.D is a real thing when you've been living in snow and fridgid temps for 3, 4, 5 months... There is nothing better than waking up way to early (6:25a) looking out the windo at the most robust orange sunrise, singing for a little while, and heading outside sans jacket to meet friends for brunch!

THIS is what Easter is about for me, sloughing off the doldrums of winter and welcoming the warmth and rebirth of spring. So, to you and yours i say, Happy Easter, whatever you believe and however you celebrate. Stay curvy!

Back and on the Market!

She's Baaaaack! I've been MIA from here for a while and for that I am truly sorry! I hope you will forgive me, I have been working on starting a few new ventures.

After moving to Boston last summer, I learned that it seems to be a no-woman's-land for curvy girls. The options for plus-size fashion in Boston is just awful. Luckily The Big Thrifty, a big sale of vintages and used plus clothes inspired by The Big FAT Flea in NYC which I have been going to for 2-3 years, is coming back to Boston on May 4th. But what about the other 364 days a year? Well thats where I come in!

In it's infancy, but growing quickly, is my new Etsy shop, CurvaliciousDiva! I scour the countryside for awesome vintage plus size finds and present them to you for your fashion needs! Please check out my shop, there are currently only 2 items so far but many more to come!!

Also I have recently lost a bit of weight. This benefits you because I now have awesome clothes, from everyday wear to formal gowns, which need new homes! Etsy doesn't allow sales of non-vintage (made since 1994) items so I'll post them on the blog and Facebook. All you have to do is comment or email me if you want to buy! 

Here's to exciting new ventures! 

Thanks for sticking by me all you curvalicious divas!

Blog Redesign!

So this picture has nothing to do with anything but I think I look pretty bad-ass (except for the duck lips which I REALLY never thought i did! but here they are in living color!)

So blogger has this cool new design that lets the reader customize how they consume my blog, I hope you are consuming voraciously... What do you think of the new look?

I need this!!!!

Tadashi Shoji

Sleeping Pills and Emotional Ills

An unconventional post for Curvalicious Diva, but please bear with me...

My dear friend and de facto sister tried to kill herself 24 hours ago. took a half a bottle of sleeping pills because she was hearing voices because she was high... I wish I could say something like "How could she do this to herself? I don't understand how people get hoked on drugs!" But the fact is I do understand... As soon as I got home from trying to deal with getting help for my suicidal, drug addicted, pseudo family, who is in CA and therefore just out of reach, my being in Boston at all, all I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat to cover up the pain, frustration, and most of all helplessness that I felt at not being able to be there for her or to take her where she could get help, get to rehab, without falling back into her f'd up support system of drug addicted flunkies.

I wish I could also say that I avoided temptation, knowing full well that I would only be hurting myself in the long run and that wouldn't solve anything, but I cant. I gave in, I had 4 slices of bread with butter, 2 helpings of pasta with pesto, and a big bowl of mashed sweet potatoes... Are you catching the theme here? I eat carbs to bury my emotions, the same reason my friend shoots crystal meth... We all have our vices, be it wine, whiskey, food, sex, drugs, excessive exercise, etc. Apparently real life is just to hard to face head on... We F that! If I expect my friend to get clean, I have to expect myself to do the same! I cant exactly go to rehab for my addiction but there are similar places, OA, WW, Yoga, the Gym. I will not let food take away my experience of life, with all of the thorns and frustrations that come with it.

The thing I really realized last night is that I am much more likely to make positive choices in an "I'm bored" situation than an "I'm helpless" situation but the truth was, I wasn't helpless. I did absolutely everything that I could have done under the circumstances. I called everyone who loves her, I got her a support system, I talked to her doctors, I called rehab facilities, I did what I could under the circumstances. I wish I could have been there to hold her hand and take her home but the reality is that I couldn't. That doesn't make me helpless. At this point unfortunately I have to wait to see what happens to her, I don't have access to her, her boyfriend isn't answering my calls, but I wont let that take away my power. I am not helpless I am strong. She is a grown woman who has to make her own choices and decisions and the only thing I can to is be there for her on the other end whatever she decides to do.

So here's to not letting circumstances get me down and hoping my friend/sister can see the light at the end of the tunnel...

Silver Linings and Golden Rules

How sad is it that I have not posted in almost a year?! I had taken a new job which didnt really allow time for posting or thinking about plus sized fashion. In the past year so much has happened... I have lost and gained 40 lbs, turned 30, on again-off agained with someone special and ultimately said goodbye, and moved to Boston from NYC to start a new chapter in this crazy journey we call life.

I am starting a new job in about 10 days and just rediscovered yoga by finding an awesome yoga studio VERY close to the T that I am hoping to have a long affair with! (Check them out: South Boston Yoga) After moving to Boston I discovered a great organic produce delivery service (Boston Organics) which is amazing since I dont have a car! They deliver a box of organic goodness every week right to my house which makes for fun recipe attempts all week! And I have lost about 10 lbs since relocating so all in all I'm pretty sure it was the right move.

Don't worry ladies, this Curvalicious Diva still loves her curves, I just want my hourglass to be a couple less hours, if you know what I mean. In that vein I want to share a bit of a revelation that I had the other day... I am a big believer in The Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" Or in other words treat people how you want to be treated. I think the world would be utopia if only people would remember this! But I realized that this concept has to relate to YOURSELF and your body as well! Why it took me 30 years to figure out that little chunk of wisdom I will never know but anyway. I have a little diary blog that I use sometimes and I wrote this the other day. I think others might benefit from it so I am re-posting here. Enjoy!

"Treat your body as you wish it to treat you... if you want a body that can run 5 miles, feed it the fuel it needs to do that and give it the rest and exercise it needs as well. If you want a body that has the stamina to make it through a 5 hour Wagner opera treat it as if it does, practice singing so it can produce when you want it to. If you want to be as beautiful and sexy on the outside as you are on the inside, see it as such already. Treat your body as the beautiful powerful thing that you want it to be and it will treat you as the beautiful powerful thing that you are!"

The big 3-0

What was turning 30 like through the ages vs today? For those of you turning 30 or getting close or already there, my dear friend (and fabulous author) Kate Quinn has some words for you today on her 30th... "Sure, maybe you're starting to get crow's feet. But look on the bright side: you probably aren't a grandmother. You probably haven't been haven't lost your teeth due to malnutrition, your health due to pumping out eight children in eight years, or your life due to repeated gang rape by enemy warriors. You aren't stuck in a back room weaving till you die, you can choose your own husband, and you have the right to vote. Don't fear thirty. Celebrate it – you've got lots to celebrate. Thirty in the 21st century is pretty goddamn good." - Kate Quinn 

My 3-0 , in February, will be celebrated with friends from all over the country in Sin City, Las Vegas. And let me tell you, my life may not look quite as I thought it would but I am right where I need to be and looking forward to a great decade to come!

What did/will you do for your 30th?

Also: Buy Kate's books here: (they are Awesome!)

Fat gives things Flavor

I saw this on etsy.com last night and it got me thinking... Julia child was right, I mean, ask any chef how to make a dish taste better and 9 times out of 10 they will tell you, "add more butter!"

Well I am here to tell you that whether you are talking about mashed potatoes or people. Fat really does add Flavor! And by that I mean any sort of "adversity". Think about all of the kids you knew in high school... are you thinking? Good. Now think of what the "popular" kids are doing today (if you don't know take a little jaunt over to Facebook, I'll wait... Ok, are you back? Now think of what all the "nerds", "fatties", "theater/music geeks", "smart kids" etc... are doing today... Who's winning? How many of the "popular kids" are still living in your home town basking in their former glory and how many "nerds" are running Fortune 500 companies and (hopefully) giving back to the 99%? I don't know about you but most of the people I knew growing up that were outside the realm of "normal" are full of Flavor today!

Adversity, challenge, makes you stronger and gives you the Flavor needed to succeed. so bring it on world... I will take anything you have to offer because i've been a fat girl all my life and it never stopped me! I've had enough Flavor to be a cheerleader, sing all over the world, and live in the big bad city of New York all on my own.
I challenge you to find your Flavor, whatever it may be this holiday season!

A Fat Girl's favorite holiday!

I don't know about you but Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays! It gives the fat girl in me nationally sanctioned free reign to unleash the beast and celebrate gluttony. And even though I'm a Weight Watcher, this year will be no different. I am going to indulge as I see fit because good lord it only comes around once a year!

There will be mashed potatoes, and stuffing, and YES pie! Now then I will count every point and will be saving all of my weekly points for Thursday and I will not over indulge everyday, but on the fat girl holiday I will be enjoying every turkey stuffed, Muppet filled minute!

What about you?

Sometimes you just have to cry to Schumann...

Throughout history songs have been written about the passion and power of love. Nothing could be sweeter than seeing your loved one return after a long journey or even just a long day at the office. But on the other hand when love goes wrong or unrequited the result can be devastating. The current influx of “break-up songs” was even epitomized in last week’s Saturday Night Live skit “Sometimes you just have to cry to Adele” http://www.shineon-media.com/2011/11/13/emma-stone-on-snl-sometimes-you-just-need-to-cry-to-adele-video/

On November 28, 2011, Ian Bostridge, Tenor and Thomas Ades, piano, bring powerful songs of longing and unrequited love to Carnegie Hall. Robert Schumann’s song cycle Dichterliebe, on text by Heinrich Heine tell of “the Poet’s Love”. The first of 16 songs in the cycle, Im Wunderschoenen Monat Mai, is a resounding declaration of love from the poet to his springtime maiden, but just as quickly as his heart speaks, it sinks. The darker side of love, longing, uncertainty, and tears immediately come to play in the second song, Aus meinen Tränen sprießen. As the song cycle moves through the life cycle of the poet, he does get his girl, but only to lose her love and eventually her life, exposing his longing once again.

CurvaliciousDiva readers can save 25% on tickets to hear the Romantic Era’s answer to Adele, sung by Ian Bostridge on November 28, 2011 by using discount code BST13241 at the box office, via CarnegieCharge 212.247.7800, or online at carnegiehall.org.

Tragedy in Brooklyn: Re/Dress closes its doors November 20, 2011

I am very sad to report that beloved plus vintage store Re/Dress is closing its doors on November 20, 2011. For the last 4 years Re/Dress has provided us curvy girls with a place to go to feel like a queen, dress our sexy bodies and sell clothes on consignment so when we're done with our duds some other curvy fashionista can share the love! I always found some awesome piece to add to my wardrobe and often took out of town friends who couldn't believe such a place existed. This store did more for us curvy girls than cover our bodies, it gave us a place to feel special and sexy. It will live on in its newly open online boutique but Brooklyn will never be the same!

You can read all about Re/Dress's difficult decision to close their doors here, and if you would like to join me for a shopping spree in October please contact me!

Really? .... Really!

Sooo... I was in Starbucks this afternoon, testing out @jonathanscard an awesome pay it forward type crowd source that just might get you a free coffee (read more here) when a serious error in decorum occurred...

I was meeting my dear friend for a very quick catch up because I only had 10 minutes. This friend is 6 months pregnant... It was raining cats, dogs, and monkeys outside and Starbucks was packed with people trying to get out of the elements. Enter "Egregious Lack of Decorum Woman"... A woman was sitting on a bench in the 'bucks typing on her laptop, a fairly common occurrence in ANY coffee shop, however she was using the only "free" chair to keep her computer plug on. So I very nicely ask the woman if my pregnant friend might be able to use the chair. This is how the conversation went...

Me: "Hi, sorry to bother you, but may I use this chair? My friend is pregnant and there are no other chairs available"

ELDW: "Well she's not here yet so..."

Me: "Actually shes just in line to get a cup of tea"

ELDW: grumble grumble (doesn't move to remove her cord from the chair)

Me: Blink, blink

Woman overhearing this: Offering me the chair she is sitting on "Please take mine!"

ELDW: ...

Me: thinking to myself "I hope your imaginary friend is choked by your compuder cord... Really?Really!"

Seriously people? Are electronics more important than people bringing other people into the world? I could not believe the audacity of that woman... Luckily others in the 'bucks were kind enough to share their seats with my friend and all was well but there has to be something seriously wrong with this picture... Grrr...

Date My Boss!

My Boss is doing an amazing thing in honor of the 1st anniversary of her 39th year! In order to ramp up her social life she has committed to going on 40 dates by Dec 31. These dont have to be 40 different guys, just 40 dates repeats allowed and welcomed. She is relying on her social media contacts to help set her up as an innovative self marketing campaign. I think it is genius! Ive urged her to blog about it but to no avail... still working on that.

SO Guys listen up!

 In order to score a date with my boss, a successful, home owning, adventurous, petite, brunette you must be:
1. Single
2. Between 30 and 55
3. Over 5' tall
4. Near or willing to travel to NYC

Dates can be as simple as lunch or coffee, drinks, or dancing (she's a great dancer!)

contact me for introductions! Let the dating begin!!

One Month and 17 pounds later...

... I'm back on the blog and back on the wagon. The past few months have been rough for the weight loss, which I was ok with given i'd lost so much and my body needed to get comfortable where I was. But this morning before my very first 6AM boot camp class I stepped on the scale, (I needed a reason for getting up at 515 only to torture my body...) and saw a horrifying number... 17lbs higher than my lowest since Dec...

So here I am back on the wagon and back on the blog. i need my community to keep me honest and frankly to remind me I'm doing this for me and for health and not just to "look hot so I can get a date"

PS I had no idea there was life before 9am. i wanted to hi five all the other people walking to the gym at 545am... "Look at us! We are badass!"

A song that always gets to me...

I dont know why, but the raw emotion in this song just always brings me to my knees...