So blogger has this cool new design that lets the reader customize how they consume my blog, I hope you are consuming voraciously... What do you think of the new look?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Blog Redesign!
So blogger has this cool new design that lets the reader customize how they consume my blog, I hope you are consuming voraciously... What do you think of the new look?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Sleeping Pills and Emotional Ills
An unconventional post for Curvalicious Diva, but please bear with me...
My dear friend and de facto sister tried to kill herself 24 hours ago. took a half a bottle of sleeping pills because she was hearing voices because she was high... I wish I could say something like "How could she do this to herself? I don't understand how people get hoked on drugs!" But the fact is I do understand... As soon as I got home from trying to deal with getting help for my suicidal, drug addicted, pseudo family, who is in CA and therefore just out of reach, my being in Boston at all, all I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat to cover up the pain, frustration, and most of all helplessness that I felt at not being able to be there for her or to take her where she could get help, get to rehab, without falling back into her f'd up support system of drug addicted flunkies.
I wish I could also say that I avoided temptation, knowing full well that I would only be hurting myself in the long run and that wouldn't solve anything, but I cant. I gave in, I had 4 slices of bread with butter, 2 helpings of pasta with pesto, and a big bowl of mashed sweet potatoes... Are you catching the theme here? I eat carbs to bury my emotions, the same reason my friend shoots crystal meth... We all have our vices, be it wine, whiskey, food, sex, drugs, excessive exercise, etc. Apparently real life is just to hard to face head on... We F that! If I expect my friend to get clean, I have to expect myself to do the same! I cant exactly go to rehab for my addiction but there are similar places, OA, WW, Yoga, the Gym. I will not let food take away my experience of life, with all of the thorns and frustrations that come with it.
The thing I really realized last night is that I am much more likely to make positive choices in an "I'm bored" situation than an "I'm helpless" situation but the truth was, I wasn't helpless. I did absolutely everything that I could have done under the circumstances. I called everyone who loves her, I got her a support system, I talked to her doctors, I called rehab facilities, I did what I could under the circumstances. I wish I could have been there to hold her hand and take her home but the reality is that I couldn't. That doesn't make me helpless. At this point unfortunately I have to wait to see what happens to her, I don't have access to her, her boyfriend isn't answering my calls, but I wont let that take away my power. I am not helpless I am strong. She is a grown woman who has to make her own choices and decisions and the only thing I can to is be there for her on the other end whatever she decides to do.
So here's to not letting circumstances get me down and hoping my friend/sister can see the light at the end of the tunnel...
My dear friend and de facto sister tried to kill herself 24 hours ago. took a half a bottle of sleeping pills because she was hearing voices because she was high... I wish I could say something like "How could she do this to herself? I don't understand how people get hoked on drugs!" But the fact is I do understand... As soon as I got home from trying to deal with getting help for my suicidal, drug addicted, pseudo family, who is in CA and therefore just out of reach, my being in Boston at all, all I wanted to do was eat. I wanted to eat to cover up the pain, frustration, and most of all helplessness that I felt at not being able to be there for her or to take her where she could get help, get to rehab, without falling back into her f'd up support system of drug addicted flunkies.
I wish I could also say that I avoided temptation, knowing full well that I would only be hurting myself in the long run and that wouldn't solve anything, but I cant. I gave in, I had 4 slices of bread with butter, 2 helpings of pasta with pesto, and a big bowl of mashed sweet potatoes... Are you catching the theme here? I eat carbs to bury my emotions, the same reason my friend shoots crystal meth... We all have our vices, be it wine, whiskey, food, sex, drugs, excessive exercise, etc. Apparently real life is just to hard to face head on... We F that! If I expect my friend to get clean, I have to expect myself to do the same! I cant exactly go to rehab for my addiction but there are similar places, OA, WW, Yoga, the Gym. I will not let food take away my experience of life, with all of the thorns and frustrations that come with it.
The thing I really realized last night is that I am much more likely to make positive choices in an "I'm bored" situation than an "I'm helpless" situation but the truth was, I wasn't helpless. I did absolutely everything that I could have done under the circumstances. I called everyone who loves her, I got her a support system, I talked to her doctors, I called rehab facilities, I did what I could under the circumstances. I wish I could have been there to hold her hand and take her home but the reality is that I couldn't. That doesn't make me helpless. At this point unfortunately I have to wait to see what happens to her, I don't have access to her, her boyfriend isn't answering my calls, but I wont let that take away my power. I am not helpless I am strong. She is a grown woman who has to make her own choices and decisions and the only thing I can to is be there for her on the other end whatever she decides to do.
So here's to not letting circumstances get me down and hoping my friend/sister can see the light at the end of the tunnel...
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Silver Linings and Golden Rules
How sad is it that I have not posted in almost a year?! I had taken a new job which didnt really allow time for posting or thinking about plus sized fashion. In the past year so much has happened... I have lost and gained 40 lbs, turned 30, on again-off agained with someone special and ultimately said goodbye, and moved to Boston from NYC to start a new chapter in this crazy journey we call life.
I am starting a new job in about 10 days and just rediscovered yoga by finding an awesome yoga studio VERY close to the T that I am hoping to have a long affair with! (Check them out: South Boston Yoga) After moving to Boston I discovered a great organic produce delivery service (Boston Organics) which is amazing since I dont have a car! They deliver a box of organic goodness every week right to my house which makes for fun recipe attempts all week! And I have lost about 10 lbs since relocating so all in all I'm pretty sure it was the right move.
Don't worry ladies, this Curvalicious Diva still loves her curves, I just want my hourglass to be a couple less hours, if you know what I mean. In that vein I want to share a bit of a revelation that I had the other day... I am a big believer in The Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" Or in other words treat people how you want to be treated. I think the world would be utopia if only people would remember this! But I realized that this concept has to relate to YOURSELF and your body as well! Why it took me 30 years to figure out that little chunk of wisdom I will never know but anyway. I have a little diary blog that I use sometimes and I wrote this the other day. I think others might benefit from it so I am re-posting here. Enjoy!
"Treat your body as you wish it to treat you... if you want a body that can run 5 miles, feed it the fuel it needs to do that and give it the rest and exercise it needs as well. If you want a body that has the stamina to make it through a 5 hour Wagner opera treat it as if it does, practice singing so it can produce when you want it to. If you want to be as beautiful and sexy on the outside as you are on the inside, see it as such already. Treat your body as the beautiful powerful thing that you want it to be and it will treat you as the beautiful powerful thing that you are!"
I am starting a new job in about 10 days and just rediscovered yoga by finding an awesome yoga studio VERY close to the T that I am hoping to have a long affair with! (Check them out: South Boston Yoga) After moving to Boston I discovered a great organic produce delivery service (Boston Organics) which is amazing since I dont have a car! They deliver a box of organic goodness every week right to my house which makes for fun recipe attempts all week! And I have lost about 10 lbs since relocating so all in all I'm pretty sure it was the right move.
Don't worry ladies, this Curvalicious Diva still loves her curves, I just want my hourglass to be a couple less hours, if you know what I mean. In that vein I want to share a bit of a revelation that I had the other day... I am a big believer in The Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" Or in other words treat people how you want to be treated. I think the world would be utopia if only people would remember this! But I realized that this concept has to relate to YOURSELF and your body as well! Why it took me 30 years to figure out that little chunk of wisdom I will never know but anyway. I have a little diary blog that I use sometimes and I wrote this the other day. I think others might benefit from it so I am re-posting here. Enjoy!
"Treat your body as you wish it to treat you... if you want a body that can run 5 miles, feed it the fuel it needs to do that and give it the rest and exercise it needs as well. If you want a body that has the stamina to make it through a 5 hour Wagner opera treat it as if it does, practice singing so it can produce when you want it to. If you want to be as beautiful and sexy on the outside as you are on the inside, see it as such already. Treat your body as the beautiful powerful thing that you want it to be and it will treat you as the beautiful powerful thing that you are!"
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The big 3-0
What was turning 30 like through the ages vs today? For those of you turning 30 or getting close or already there, my dear friend (and fabulous author) Kate Quinn has some words for you today on her 30th... "Sure, maybe you're starting to get crow's feet. But look on the bright
side: you probably aren't a grandmother. You probably haven't been
haven't lost your teeth due to malnutrition, your health due to pumping
out eight children in eight years, or your life due to repeated gang
rape by enemy warriors. You aren't stuck in a back room weaving till
you die, you can choose your own husband, and you have the right to
vote. Don't fear thirty. Celebrate it – you've got lots to celebrate. Thirty
in the 21st century is pretty goddamn good." - Kate Quinn My 3-0 , in February, will be celebrated with friends from all over the country in Sin City, Las Vegas. And let me tell you, my life may not look quite as I thought it would but I am right where I need to be and looking forward to a great decade to come!
What did/will you do for your 30th?
Also: Buy Kate's books here: (they are Awesome!)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Fat gives things Flavor
Well I am here to tell you that whether you are talking about mashed potatoes or people. Fat really does add Flavor! And by that I mean any sort of "adversity". Think about all of the kids you knew in high school... are you thinking? Good. Now think of what the "popular" kids are doing today (if you don't know take a little jaunt over to Facebook, I'll wait... Ok, are you back? Now think of what all the "nerds", "fatties", "theater/music geeks", "smart kids" etc... are doing today... Who's winning? How many of the "popular kids" are still living in your home town basking in their former glory and how many "nerds" are running Fortune 500 companies and (hopefully) giving back to the 99%? I don't know about you but most of the people I knew growing up that were outside the realm of "normal" are full of Flavor today!
Adversity, challenge, makes you stronger and gives you the Flavor needed to succeed. so bring it on world... I will take anything you have to offer because i've been a fat girl all my life and it never stopped me! I've had enough Flavor to be a cheerleader, sing all over the world, and live in the big bad city of New York all on my own.
I challenge you to find your Flavor, whatever it may be this holiday season!
Monday, November 21, 2011
A Fat Girl's favorite holiday!
There will be mashed potatoes, and stuffing, and YES pie! Now then I will count every point and will be saving all of my weekly points for Thursday and I will not over indulge everyday, but on the fat girl holiday I will be enjoying every turkey stuffed, Muppet filled minute!
What about you?
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